Sorry Hallmark - I pick today to say "Love You Mom!"

Holidays in our family aren't usually a big deal. Don't get me wrong, we celebrate. My family loves each other and will use any excuse to get together and have a great time. What I think is unique about the way my mother taught me to view holidays is to appreciate the meaning behind the holiday and not be a slave to the Hallmark created day. For this reason, when I asked if it was okay that M and I go to New York to meet his new nephew over Mother's Day weekend, she didn't hesistate to approve. Mother's Day is just another Sunday. I can thank her for being my mother on another day.

This year, though, is a little bit different. A month ago, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. If you ask me how I feel about that - I don't think I can give you a clear answer. It's still so new and we're still in the midst of seeing how this thing will play out.  My mom, however, is bad ass. She's determined to not let this define her or take over her life. There's no reason to cancel our trip because I'm supposed to spend this Sunday with her.

Two weeks ago we met with a really nice nurse coordinator at the oncologist's office. She was full of information and resources for which my dad and I were extremely thankful. She flips to the end of the binder and states, "This is your 'Survivorship' section. Because that's what you are. A Survivor. You are a survivor from the day of your diagnosis."

I have two problems with this.
1. Can you be a survivor before you actually beat something? We just found out. We don't know if she's a survivor. Not to go all literal - but come on.
2. Mom doesn't want to be a "survivor." Breast cancer does not define her, and labeling her as "breast cancer survivor" doesn't tell you anything about her. She wants to kick it to the curb and then forget it ever happend. Labeling her "survivor" pours salt in the wound - in my opinion.

Just like you shouldn't treat your mothers differently this Sunday because Hallmark labeled it "Mother's Day," you shouldn't treat people in your life differently because they've been labeled with a disease. We, as a society, shouldn't label people (even though we LOVE to do it). The disease does not define her. It doesn't describe her. All you know is that she had a couple of cells that went ape shit. That's it.

(As a sidenote - my intention is not to diminish the accomplishment of the thousands of women who have survived breast cancer. My intention is to point out that surviving breast cancer is just that - an accomplishment, not a label. I applaud their accomplishment and celebrate in their victory.)

I love my mom. She's always been the fun, cool mom. She is a model to me daily, and if I can be half as awesome as she is, I'll be doing okay.

Happy Day to a Great Mother!!